Meditation. Something I always felt that belonged to the monasteries in the sacred hills or hermits who lived in caves, clinging on to the hope of enlightenment. Forgive me for being so ignorant, but honest to God, that was what I really thought and believed.
Meditation, as explained in Wikipedia (something I constantly refer to though many has told me that it is not quite the most reliable source), is a discipline one practices mentally. It is to achieve that state of peacefulness, serenity or to attain greater focus.
So one fine day, I came across a notification about some people spreading the joy of meditation somewhere not so nearby, and being an absolute wreck after a heartbreak which is still breaking, I decided why not?
Off I went being very skeptical but hoping from the very depths of my soul that meditation would be something to take my mind of my physical state, the unusually messed up situation I was in. Silently, I was praying that it would make me more stable in so many ways.
When the facilitator started explaining the Sanskrit words and their meanings, I was drawn to her confidence in explaining it, the trust and faith she put in this meditation could be felt through her words. I was more intrigued by the minute.
The class was not big per say, but it was a notable number of people who turned up. We started with explanation and directions of how to meditate and when we finally did it for real, I felt real silence, awareness of my surrounding and yet being so calm and surreal for 2 seconds. 2 seconds of which I can tell you I would do anything to get back.
The facilitator told us to place our right hand on top of our head, just a few centimetres away from the skull and then alternate with the other hand. I thought the heat I felt when I put my right hand up was the effect of being in such a warm room, but when I raised my left hand and did the same, I felt nothing.
I did it again, and the same results. A student later asked why was this happening and we found out that the right basically represents action, the dominant part of us, the "yang" of our being while the left is the complete opposite. A reaction to either one side and if it is not the same, then the subtle energy in us is not balanced and with meditation one could centre the subtle energy.
We were all encouraged to take 5 to 10 minutes of our time daily to practice this meditation and I have been doing it. Though I failed to achieve what I did during the first time, I am now an avid believer that meditation will soothe my soul and one day I will be able to raise my self awareness to enlightenment.
You ask me why? I shall tell you this. I have been a wreck for the hours and days as far back as I can remember and have been constantly yearning for the lost love of my life. Him, blatantly ignoring me, has hurt me more than anything could.
All I wanted after that was to have some calm in my mind, to have my emotions under control, to not break down at no moment's notice and to not beg and plead and most of all, to let fate have its way. I finally found something that I can do and which works.
I know it only worked that one time, but I am sure, as long as I work on it, I will get to where I want to be. I need it, everyone needs it, a little peace in life.
No comments:
Post a Comment